When You Outgrow Old Versions of Yourself: The Grief in Growth

"There is grief in growth, but also grace—because you’re allowed to evolve and still hold space for where you started."

Hi Friends!

You know that feeling when your favorite old sweater doesn’t quite fit the same anymore? It’s still soft, still full of memories, but when you slip it on—it feels tight in the wrong places. That’s what it’s like when you outgrow an older version of yourself. And while growth is beautiful, freeing, and full of promise—it can also feel like loss. And that’s okay.

There’s a grief that comes with growth.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. In fact, it means you’re doing it right.

🪴Growth Is Not Always Glamorous

We live in a world that celebrates transformation in its polished stages—the after photos, the breakthrough moments, the glow-ups. But what about the quiet ache in the in-between? What about the version of you that had to be let go to make space for who you’re becoming?

Maybe it was the you who said yes to everything.
Maybe it was the you who stayed small to feel safe.
Maybe it was the you who was constantly striving to be “enough.”

You might miss her. And grieving her doesn’t mean you want to go back. It means she mattered. She got you this far. And now—it’s time to lovingly release her.

🌸The Hidden Side of Self-Growth: Grief

Here are just a few things people don’t always talk about during growth:

🍧You may feel lonely, even if you’re doing "better."

🍧You might miss relationships or routines that no longer align.

🍧You may feel guilt for changing.

🍧You’ll sometimes wonder, “Who even am I now?”

This is normal. It’s emotional residue from shedding skin that no longer fits.

🕊️ How to Honor What You’re Leaving Behind

1. Name It.
   Say out loud (or journal) what version of yourself you're releasing. The clearer you are, the more compassion you can hold.

2. Thank Her.
   That version of you protected you, got you through hard seasons, and did the best she could. She deserves gratitude—not shame.

3. Feel It Fully.
   Let the grief come. Cry if you need to. Reflect. Celebrate. Mourn. This is part of healing.

4. Surround Yourself with Safety.
   Growth is vulnerable. Make sure you have people, practices, or spaces that remind you: you’re safe, supported, and seen.

5. Visualize Who You’re Becoming.
   Not just what she does, but how she feels. Let your future self become an anchor—not a pressure.

🌼 You Are Allowed to Grieve and Grow at the Same Time

You are not broken for missing parts of yourself.
You are not weak for feeling heavy during a rising season.
You are human. And in every letting go, there is also a letting in.

You don’t have to rush into your next chapter.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You are allowed to stand in the doorway between who you were and who you’re becoming—and take a deep, steady breath.

Because this, too, is sacred.

💟Quiet Reflection:
What part of me have I outgrown—and how can I honor her today?

XO Jenna 💕
📧 jenna@jlncoach.com
📱 @jlncoach (instagram)

📱@jennasgraditude (Instagram)

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